What is reparenting and how does it apply to Human Design?

Reparenting is the act of giving yourself what you didn’t receive as a child.

~ The Holistic Psychologist

When I started to learn more about Human Design, I quickly realised that I was being forced to look at my conditioning and my current reality vs my design and see where things didn’t quite match up. It was a lot!

Why was I always seeking my purpose and external validation in life?

Why was I too afraid to ask for help, even when feeling overwhelmed and burnt out?

Why did I find it so hard to speak my truth, and instead opt for the people-pleasing option instead?

In a way, I had begun to reparent myself through a new lens, and a totally new understanding of myself (and my parents). This wasn’t about shame or blame, this was purely about acknowledging what was and how I could move forward with this awareness.

Reparenting and Human Design

Through learning more about my own Human Design and conditioning I started to seek internal validation instead of external, I started to ask for help instead of struggling alone and I am getting better at speaking my truth, instead of just what others want to hear (although this is still very much a work in progress!)

In parenting, we are constantly being forced to question our values, our reactions, our beliefs because we suddenly have a mini version of us reminding us of difficult situations or emotions we may have experienced in our childhoods and we are now being faced with the challenge of dealing with similar situations in a different way. Our own way.

Reparenting and the not-self theme in Human Design

When I start to work with clients on challenges they are facing in their parenting journey, and I look at their charts, it usually gives some clues about how the family energetics are operating. Even seemingly small issues can reappear in subtle ways, but once we bring awareness to them, we can decide whether we want to continue with the same behaviour or change for a more harmonious one.

Usually, our not-self theme is a great indicator of where our children are forcing us to face situations differently, such as:

• The Manifesting Generator mum being frustrated with her 7 year old daughter telling her friend they ‘never do anything exciting’ (after just having had a full day out of shopping and fun together)
• The Projector dad showing up in a bitter way after the children continue to push boundaries at bedtime
• The Reflector mum feeling disappointed that her daughter shows no respect in the house and leaves a mess everywhere

These small but subtle examples show that really each and every child is a mirror to us; there to reflect back exactly what we need to revisit or overcome in ourselves. Of course, we can’t go back in time and change the event or circumstance, but we can choose to think and feel about things in a different way, and we can give ourselves the reassurance, the love, the support that we didn’t get as a child.

**I will add here though that for some of us, parenting can be a huge emotional trigger, and of course some horrific and traumatic events need much more help than we can ever do alone – in these cases, please seek professional guidance and support through a doctor, therapist, counsellor etc.**

Reparenting and Human Design

It comes down to awareness.

Are you really frustrated at your child for not being appreciative, or is it because you were never bought nice things as a child and so you feel upset that they don’t understand that?

Are you mad at your kids pushing boundaries at bedtime because you were left alone as a child when all you wanted was a bedtime hug and story?

Are you disappointed at the mess your kids made, or are you remembering the constant nagging you had from your own parents about being untidy?

I’m not saying what your child is doing is ‘OK’ – or that you let them leave mess or cause bedtime drama for everyone. But what I am saying is that it’s so much more about your reaction, and your awareness of your own feelings, than it is about the actions (or inaction) of your kids.

Ready to dive deeper?

Book a Human Design family reading…

We spend 90 minutes together deep diving your family charts, how energy works within all your designs and your overall family dynamics and how each member of the family can be better seen, heard and understood based on some very simple principles. I then support you via Voxer for 7 days to really integrate what you’ve learnt into your family and everyday life. Plus, I send you on your way with a 150+ page PDF of personalised notes and reference material for you to keep coming back to as you need it (believe me, I still reference my kids charts on the daily!)

To book your Human Design reading click here.

Ready to add Human Design to your parenting toolkit?

Start with a Printable Human Design wall chart (for you or your child) and start to learn more about this incredible tool for your life, and parenting journey. See the full range of custom digital HD wall charts, ebooks and bundles here.

Keen to dive deeper?

I work 1:1 with parents to understand their own Human Design as well as their child’s. I offer individual, parent/child and full family sessions. Learn more here.